Sifosei Tiftach

I've had a lot to say lately, but not entirely sure how to go about saying it.
As Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance author, Robert M. Pirsig, might put it, I've fallen into a gumption trap. I don't feel prepared to write anything inspirational because I have been going through quite a few ups and downs in my spiritual life. But I also don't feel that it would be appropriate to write anything too depressing on this blog. What started off as a cry for a revolution has reached a plateau of bland nothingness.I suppose, however, that I should take a word or two of my own advice and "fake it until I make it." I recently came across an amazing blog, www.hasidic-feminist.blogspot.com (for anyone who is interested) about a woman who left the Kiryas Yoel Satmar community. Her story is amazing, but more than that, the way she presents everything is truly beautiful. Though the Torah forbids it, I must admit that I am a bit jealous of her writing skills. In any case, she recently brought up an interesting point, and one that I've been pondering for quite a while as it is: if one stops believing, then how does one get through pain or other various struggles in life? Yiddishkeit is very clear on how to approach all things in life, but especially pain and suffering. It is one of the things that makes classic Judaism incredibly appealing to me, who has Baruch Hashem not had to deal with that much suffering, but has had bouts of depression that were very hard to get over. Even before I became frum, tefila has been very important to me. I didn't always believe in G-d, or at least an Abrahamic G-d. I had ideas about a god who was far away, or at least not at all interested in our affairs. Or a god who was in nature, the grass, the trees. Then there was a period of time when I was considering xtianity (B"H I got over that shtus early on!) But no matter my view of G-d, I always felt I had to speak to Him. In hate, in love, in confusion, in pain, in joy, words to G-d were words to heal. Perhaps it was just words to myself, but I believe that too was a form of prayer. Words to say that even if there was nothing else out there, I existed, and I had power, and that I would not let anything tear me down. Now those words are repeated thrice daily, morning afternoon and night, reminding me who I am, where I stand, and providing a never-ending source of comfort. I truly do believe that davening, no matter your or anyone else's view on it, is the best form of therapy available. Honestly. People pay hundreds if not thousands to be able to talk to someone. We as Jews, as humans, as creatures, get that for free - if only we would open out mouths.

Hashem, sefosei tiftach, ufi yagid tehilosecha!


Boruch Dayan HaEmes

There is so much going through my head right now.
The Holtzbergs.
Baruch Dayan HaEmes.
But what is the point of mourning them?
Are our tears going to change the fact that they're son is an orphan now?
Or that Chabad of Mumbai will have no one to light candles in?
Will MY tears change that?
I think not.
There's a reason for everything.
And everything is good.
Some revealed good.
Some hidden good.
So what could the reason for this be?
How could these two people - barely out of their teens
Doing so much good for the world
Be gone?
Its our turn now.
Their job is done.
They have spread all the light they could spread.
Now, Hashem is saying, Its YOUR turn.
We need to take up their mantle.
We need to spread the light.
Baruch dayan haemes.
Moshiach, pull us out of here!
For anyone interested in learning something with me in their memory call or message.
I would like to go out and do mivtzoyim next week too if anyone else is interested, give me a call.
I love you all.
We'll make it through this together.
Moshiach now!



I think that nowadays far too much importance is placed on a Rebbe.
When we go back to the roots of chassidus, we find that it is there to compliment our avodas Hashem.To make us better people who want to go above and beyond to serve Hashem.THAT is what Chassidut is all about.Some people get that chizuk from eating at their Rebbe's tish.Some get it from learning their Rebbe's works.Some get it from meditating for hours.Some get it from leading lives of complete seclusion.Some get it from building HUGE shuls and giving all their worldy possesions over to a G-dly purpose.But can one not get a little from each?Why does Chassidus have to be so die-cut?Why can't there be a Chabad chosid who learns Breslov too?Or a Gerrer who learns Tanya and sichos of other Rebbeim?What about a Satmar who learns Sfas Emes?Or a Bostoner whose Rav is the Bialar Rebbe?Why can't this be possible?Because of politics.It seems like the chasid's world is ruled by politics.And no, not Obama vs McCain policits.But Rebbe politics.For some reason, I just don't think THIS is what the BeSH'T meant when he told us to spread chassidus.Nowadays, there seems to be such a lack of ahavas yisroel.And Ahavas CHINAM is what we need to rebuild the Beis Hamikdash!Its all about "Well, my rebbe is better than yours."Or "My Rebbe doesn't agree with your Rebbe, so t here must be something wrong with you."Or, and my FAVORITE is, "Well, why would you look at anything other than _______ chassidus. Its obviously the right one!"Hahaha.You see, there is no "right one."Each person's chassidus has to be right for THEM.But all chassidus is right.Because, hopefully, they all aim for the same thing.To draw us closer to Hashem.And make us better as people and as Jews.And so that's my view on chassidus.And what follows, follows.But I can honestly say.That this view is MINE.Its not because I feel some odd obligation to any type of chassidus.Or to certain people.This is me.


A funny thing happened on the way to the shteibel...

Don't know why exactly I decided to make that the name of the post, seeing as I haven't been to shul in a while, but I felt like a play on words... See, the other day I was thinking about how it must look to non-Jews or unobservant Jews to see a whole bunch of people walking down PCH on the way to shul on shabbos. Just think about it. For one, if you're a lubob like me, the guys are wearing the wonderful crushed hats that cost a fortune (still don't quite understand the logic behind those things... maybe the Rebbe was trying to help out the economy at the time lol ;) and their tzitzis are flying in the wind. The girls are walking a few steps behind in the nice shabbos skirts and shirts... usually with their shoes off if they live in an area with an eruv, talking animatedly about who knows what. Then there's always that little boy - usually named menach/mendel/menachem/mendy/ (you get the idea) weaving in between people, holding his kipa to his head, darting between the girls (this usually happens the most when the girls have friends over for shabbos), trying to entertain them. Then there is that guy, driving down PCH in his lamborghini (okay, I might be exaggerating a LITTLE) who looks at you all weird. If he's really daring (and its a REALLY hot day) he might even offer you a ride... And then the whole shabbos thing has to be explained making for a pretty awkward situation. On top of this, I once had a teacher who LOVES to sing nigunnim. He is a pretty old Rabbi, and he resembles santa claus (with a HUGE, scraggly, white beard). Whenever I see him on Shabbos or even walking to school he is always singing (with quite a lot of gesticulation might I adD). It must have been quite an experience for a passerby to see HIM and his flock on the way to shul. His son is pretty introverted, and it must have made for a pretty funny scene... Well, don't really know WHY I wrote this, but I was in LA today and it just occurred to me. I guess I'm in a weird mood. Well, thats all folks!


Time to stop THINKING; Time to start DOINg

"Today's youth should be encouraged to create a TRUE revolution - A revolution of virtue and integrity. They should fight not simply our of duty, but out of the zeal of someone in search of a truly significant life"
-The Rebbe

Its time we start behaving like Chasidim.
Its time our fires start to really burn.
No more sitting and thinking about things.
Its time to behave like the Rebbe's chosid.
Its time to wake up and TURN OVER THE WORLD!!!!




No One Cares Anymore

No one seems to care nowadays.
Its all just fake.
Its all being polite.
I wonder if people just use their politeness and relationships with others to make them feel fulfilled and like a good person.
Hold up.
Do I do that too?

This stuff is getting too confusing.
Enjoy the chametz!


The Woes of a Chabad Gal

As it is Pesach break, and I am... more or less lifeless, I have been spending a lot of time looking at other people's blogs. Random blogs. Jewishblogs. Reform, Orthodox, chabad, not chabad, you name it...
And one thing that I've noticed is a very odd trend.
It seems like guys in the Orthodox world are under the impression that... Women get the better part of the deal!
I'm shocked.
With my reform upbringing telling me constantly that orthodox women were considered less than men, and my own doubts as an orthodox Jew to whether all that stuff they're forcing down our throats about how women are more spiritual etc. is really true, this is quite the breakthrough!
Anyhow, that was just a little interesting fact that I found...
But there is something else that struck me about all these bochurim (or ex-bochurim) complaining about Yeshiva, and how frum girls these days are walking around all slutty, and how we have it so easy - and yet we don't even understand how great it is for us...
Well, NEWS FLASH guys.
Our life isn't exactly a piece of cake either!
No, we don't sit all day in Yeshiva learning... boo hoo.
Well, does that mean that we don't learn? The Lubavitch girl nowadays doesn't have it so easy.
To start off, the whole tznius thing.
It is a beautiful mitzvah, and I love doing it because it makes me feel like a true "bas melech" but you guys don't even get the tip of the iceberg.
Sure, you walk around with kipa and tzitzis like walking billboards reading "I'M A JEW! LOOK AT ME!" but do you think we have it any easier?
I can spot a frum Jewish girl from a mile away in the summer.
Unlike you, we don't get to wear short-sleeves whenever we feel too hot. We don't get to hide our skirts like you hide your tzitzis in your pockets, or your kippot under hats.
Nope, we gotta keep it covered 24/7 - even the collarbone!
Do guys even comprehend the nightmare it is looking for a shirt that covers elbows, is light enough to wear in the summer - but not seethrough, AND covers our stinking COLLAR BONE?!
And from the other side of the spectrum, all these bochurim are complaining about Yeshiva.
Well, I would LOVEEEE to be in an environemnt where I could learn ALL the time.
But alas, I can't.
Girls are vastly underestimated in the Chabad movement.
AND chabad girls are overestimated too.
They don't think they can put us in an environment where we learnabout yiddishkeit more than three hours a day.
And at the same time, they expect us to be motivated enough on our own to say chitas every single day.
I don't understand it.
I personally, love to learn... But I need to have more motivation than just myself to open up a chumash and start learning. I need to have a chavrusa or be in class or SOMETHING to really get into my learning. Its just part of who I am.
And schools WONDER why girls my age go off the derech.
Can't they see it from OUR point of view?
We're teenagers. We're lazy, emotional beings with a messed up sense of what is right vs. what we want.
And we like guys. A lot. This is getting way off topic, but its something else that I'd like to ramble about for a little. The girl/guy dynamic is something that no force on earth can stop. And yet we HAVE to, because that is what good frum girls do. I only became frum last year. I know what its like to have a boyfriend. I get all the logical reasons behind why not to, but I still miss it. I still want it. And people still wonder why the good ffb (frum from birth) girls are going off the derech.
I've witnessed it with my own two eyes.
I've watched girls - such "good" girls - fall into the trap - the allure of life without rules.
And they always come crawling back - back to truth and light... But in the meantime, they mess themselves up! I mean, it can really affect their shidduchim.
Thats something else that I don't get. Why is it that if a girl (and I guess this also applies to guys) goes waaaaaay off the derech when their fourteen because their homelife sucks, and they hate their school, and they have a huge crush on Mendy Ploni who lives down the street and is also a little fried out himeslf, that they get punished for it when they're twenty-two, full-on-frum, went on shlichus and 3 yrs of sem etc. and ready to build their own "binyan adei ad"???
Also baalei teshuva. Now this doesn't happen so much in Chabad, but in every other sect, yichus is SUCH a huge factor in shidduchim.
Reb Ploni: "Oh, my Menach is interested in Chana Leah Smith... is she a good girl???"
Shadchan: "Oh really now. Well, sure - she has great middos and is very modest and G-d fearing, but did you know her father is a baal teshuva? Up until he was 18 he was a full-on bacon eating aethiest! Surely she doesn't have the right yichus for your wonderful Menach!"
Reb Ploni: "You're right! Thank you for letting me know about this, Menach defenitely deserves better!"
Bam - there goes that girl's chance at even meeting someone who could be her beshert!
In short, girls don't have it NEARLY as easy as guys would like to think.
And that is partially because of a rather messed up system in a beautiful sect of Judaism.
Chabad is amazing, but it really needs to pull itself together.
And G-d willing that will happen soon with the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days - Amen!

Alright all.
Have a Pesach Kasher v'Sameach!


RevolutioNation - Great Beginnings

I am a Jew.
I am a poet.
I am an aspiring graphic designer.
I am a wannabe.

That is me.

RevolutioNation is a blog dedicated to randomness.
The title refers to the Jewish Nation.
The title refers to my nation.
The Jewish people - no matter how small we may be - have always been rebels.
We have been kicked out.
Beaten up.
And who knows HOW many people have tried killing us.
But we have made it - with the help of G-d.
We are always breaking stereotypes.
We are always breaking barriers.
In short, we are a revolution-nation.
Hence this blog.

I am Chabad.
I am a Baalas Teshuva.
I am in love with Judaism.
And I believe that labels are for cans - not for Jews.
One Torah.
One nation.

Peace out!
See you in Yeru!